15.6 Wrapped up in His Work: The Emotionally Absent Father

 

Copyright © 2025 Michael A. Brown


‘After the boy is weaned, I will take him and present him before the Lord, and he will live there always…  So now I give him to the Lord.  For his whole life he shall be given over to the Lord.’ (1 Sam. 1:22,28)

      The life of the prophet Samuel makes an interesting study.  Conceived as a result of much travail in prayer and faith on the part of his mother Hannah, she had made a vow that if she became pregnant, then she would give the child to the Lord for all the days of his life.  She made good on her vow and, after the infant Samuel was weaned, she left him with Eli the priest at the tabernacle to be brought up in the presence of the Lord.  That the Lord himself honoured this vow by raising Samuel up and anointing him as a Nazirite prophet with a powerful ministry to the people of God, is clear from the narrative (1 Sam. 1:1 – 2:11,18-26; ch.3).

      It is a matter of debate whether Hannah should have left Samuel at such a young age at the tabernacle, away from his biological parents, instead of raising him at home until he was older and then releasing him into the ministry that God had called him to, as Samson’s and John the Baptist’s parents did.  Whatever we think about this, Samuel seems in his later life to betray signs of being what we would nowadays call an emotional orphan.  Being brought up away from his biological parents, Elkanah and Hannah, and being brought up instead by Eli and the women who served around the tabernacle area, seems to have left its mark on him as he grew up.  As an adult man, Eli was weak and ineffective as a father, as the section above shows, and these women were of an ungodly character (1 Sam. 2:22).  So as he grew up, Samuel seems to have lacked the natural inner emotional bond that children have with their biological parents.  The fact that a man or woman is called of God and is used significantly by him in leadership and prophetic ministry, does not necessarily mean that s/he does not have unmet needs or lacks healthy emotional development in some other area of their life as a human being.

      Samuel was brought up without an example of what a good and effective father is.  He did not have a good role model: Elkanah was not around at all, and Eli was a failure in this regard.  The narrative tells us that, even though Samuel was greatly used by God in prophetic ministry, and was also spending much of his time working itinerantly as the recognised leader and judge over the people of God (1 Sam. 7:15-17), yet he too failed in the area of fatherhood.  His two sons did not grow up in the fear of the Lord and they became corrupt by taking bribes and perverting justice (1 Sam. 8:1-3).  They portrayed the exact opposite of their father Samuel in terms of character quality on this point.  The fact that Samuel did not grow up with a daily example around him of effective fatherhood, bore its fruit in that Samuel himself did not bring up his own sons well.  The simple fact is that he did not know how to.  He seems to have developed a similar weakness to that of Eli, although it bore fruit in a different way in his own sons’ lives.

      Being so busy in the work of God as both prophet and itinerant judge meant that Samuel was away from home quite frequently.  He betrayed the symptoms of being an ‘emotionally absent father’ syndrome.  Men who have not been brought up with a good model of fatherhood and who are emotional orphans, tend to find their identity by being wrapped up in their work and they are emotionally distant from their children, especially from their sons.  They do not understand or know how to succeed in their role as a father.  Therefore, they may fail to get involved meaningfully in the lives of their children and to learn how to bring them up properly, instead finding meaning, significance and emotional fulfilment from their work.  Internally, they use their apparent outward success in the workplace (even if this demands frequent absence from home) to cover up and justify their all too apparent failure with their children.

 

Copyright Notice

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

 

 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Welcome to this blog site!

  THIS BLOG SITE IS STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION WHILE MORE BLOGS ARE ADDED. IN THE MEANTIME, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO BROWSE THROUGH AND ENJOY THE B...